When I was in my teens there was a height restriction in the police force, which meant that at 5'2 I wasn't eligible to become the crime fighting babe I'd always imagined I'd be. I felt there was a terrible and foolish injustice to this requirement ... hadn't Napolean become Emperor of France, hadn't Bruce Lee kicked arse, hadn't our Jack Russell had rumpy pumpy with next door's Alsatian? 

Of course that's all changed now and any Tom, Dick or Jimmy Crankie can become a copper. 

This week as I was watching the current edition of Britain's Next Top Model with my 10 year old daughter the old feelings of injustice re-surfaced. As she was practicing her posing and cat walk in the kitchen she asked the question I'd been dreading ... 

"Mum, do you think I could become a model." 

It's tough being a parent ... should you crush her dreams with the truth ... that given the height of her parents and ancestors she's got more chance of marrying Willy Windsor ... or do you lie? With the image of those tone deaf morons humiliated on talent shows after being egged on by parents who must have lost all grip on reality, popping up in my mind, I told her the truth. Expecting disappointment and perhaps mild outrage I was surprised by her response.

"It's alright Mum, it's not like when you were young, I expect they'll have invented something to make people taller by the time I grow up ..." 

I love her resilience and optimism, but ache for her disappointment when, like those other girls that went to audition, they find they are below the 5'8 required.

Of course to be a model not only do you have to be a certain height, you also have to be young (at 23 you're on the model scrap heap) and skinny. They occasionally have plus size models (over size 16) but not many of these seem to do well in the competition and a lot seem to get psyched out by the thin bee-atches making comments. 

What I find odd about the fashion industry is that they use giant ironing boards with legs rather than women from the average sizes of 10-14. 

Go to a sale and you can find plenty of size 6, 8 and 16 clothes left because these represent the margins of the bell curve, rather than the curves of the majority of women in the middle.

The other irony is that the designers, let's take Julien MacDonald one of the current judges, who can be really bitchy about the way women look, are never the male equivalent of the models they design for. Julien is short and a little plump ... mind you the way he was tucking away the fried mars bars and chips on one of the episodes that's not surprising. It reminds me of what my Dad use to say, "Sarah do as I say, not as I do!". 

Tyra Banks, the American supermodel and creator of the Next Top Model concept, says that it's not just about looks, modelling is about personality too. 

The two supermodels that I know best are Naomi Campbell and Kate Moss, as far as their personalities go, Naomi appears to be a Queen Bitch and Kate's personality ... has she got one? 

What frustrates me most is that I get hooked on the programme. I only start watching it to see if any of the women bat for my team and then to see if they get it on with one of the other girls ... then before you know it, the lezza's been voted out, but I'm still watching the show! 

When I go round an art gallery I'm quick to dismiss any of the paintings that look like, with the right tools, I could have done them in my garage (Pollock & Rothko, yes I'm talking about you!). 

I have a similar feeling about modelling, can't anyone do it if God gives them the right tools, in this case the face and body? You'd think, except that it can't be true given the number of girls that don't make it. So many of them can't conquer the catwalk, "smile with their eyes" or do "ugly pretty" as Tyra will often say.

So I accept that maybe it's not as easy as it looks, but what I don't subscribe to is that in order to sell clothes and make up you need to be tall and skinny. I am pretty confident that a size 10,12 or 14 girl of average height, who is beautiful and interesting, could take gorgeous photographs and rock it on the cat walk. However, unless someone in the fashion industry or one of the TV companies has the courage to try and buck the trend, I guess the world of fashion modelling will continue to be out of reach of your average woman. 

In the meantime, here's a little clip to show you that even the top models are human ... enjoy!

Two big events are happening in May this year. One of them is the 56th Eurovision song contest in Dusseldorf (excuse the missing umlaut) and the other is the 40th Birthday of yours truly in Swindon. (I was secretly hoping to celebrate it somewhere abroad, but given the other half finally gave way on a new kitchen and she was talking about an Ipad the other day, I'm not gonna' push my luck!)

Being half Irish I am always torn between the UK and Ireland in the Eurovision Song Contest. But given that I like to back a winner, the UK songs are usually pants and we get voted against because of Iraq ... I normally plum for Eire. 
Ireland have won it seven times, more than any other country, with an unprecedented three consecutive victories in the 1990s (1992, 1993 and 1994 - the most consecutive wins accumulated by a country to date). Just for info Great Britain has won it five times ... not bad ... but not good enough!I Given their amazing record, it is important that Ireland makes the right choice of artist to represent them this year ... they should be looking for talent and great singing voices ... so WTF are Jedward hot favourites!! Tonight Ireland will choose their Eurovision entry and these two jokers might be representing their country. Let's wait and see what happens ... in the meantime here's a real Irish song to enjoy ... (12/02/11 - The Irish people voted & Jedward won ... OMG!)

And so to Great Britain a nation so proud of its homegrown talent that it gets an Irishman to present the show ... again. First Terry and now Graham ... have we got no one from the UK who could do it? Hmm ... I'm bored of James Corden and Chris Evans, plus the 'lad' thing is wearing a bit thin ... and Dara O'Briain is another Irishman! I tell you who would do a fab job, (aside from fresh*, little old half-blood like me), ... Sue Perkins ... British and a woman ... (and diversity box tick ... a lezza') now that would be a turnip for the books!
*(that's 'fresh' as in new, rather than 'fresh' as in young ... before anyone makes a smart comment!)
We have already chosen our Eurovision song and artist ... 'Can' and Blue. I haven't heard the song so it wouldn't be fair to comment on it ... (but if any of you have heard it ... feel free to share your thoughts!) Blue have some form, but are they quirky enough? Will they stand out ... well just hold on a cotton pickin' minute ... one of the band certainly does ...

To my left, M'laud ... one Antony Costa, member of Blue, weeing against a cash point machine. Urggh, not nice, but it's completely stuffed women's theory that men can't multi-task!!
Look closely people, young Antony is weeing, hands free, whilst talking on his phone and getting cash out! How impressive is that? Perhaps we'd have more chance of winning Eurovision if he did that instead of singing!?
And ... that's the way Sarah sees it. My thanks to Eurovision, Jedward, Ireland, Blu, Jane Lynch and particularly Antony for supplying me with some great content and a few new gags!

Welcome to my first musings. They are brief but more will follow! Enjoy...

The Chief Constable of Wiltshire, Brian Moore recently wrote an open letter to the media raising concerns about parental control. This was after 40 kids in Melksham, Wiltshire had arranged to meet to see a fight between two girls. They were having a spat on Facebook and one had threatened to stab the other...with a hot poker from the AGA (I made that last bit up, but it is Wiltshire!). These kids wanted to see what would happen! Most of them had managed to con their parents into believing they were sleeping at a friends. (I made a mental note not to fall for that one when my daughter, Isabel, is a teenager.) 

I have a tendency to be judgemental, (I've been working on this), so before I ranted about 'kids these days', I cast my mind back to my school days. I did recall several occasions where we ran to the playground after an argument got out of hand chanting "fight, fight, fight". The worst that ever happened though was some hair pulling, face scratching and the odd skirt removal (thank God thongs weren't popular when I was at school). I suppose being in a catholic school might have made a difference. We thought those girls were probably going to spend a good few years in purgatory for the hair pulling alone.     

It shouldn't be surprising that these kids were interested in the outcome, since humans have always had a morbid curiosity...think back to the Roman Amphitheatres. I taped the film 'Stand by Me' over Christmas to watch with my 10 year old. It has some great messages about friendship and life and there are beautiful moments, but the overarching storyline is that these kids want to see a dead body. After a few moans at the start Isabel loved the film. I asked her at the end what she had taken away from it. After a few seconds contemplation, she said... "avoid people with knives". Disappointing... 

Times have changed. Movies and games are more violent and the news, in every medium is saturated with death. Have we been de-sensitised to human suffering and loss of life? Possibly...if you think about the public reaction to the cat in a wheelie bin story and compare it with the level of public interest in some of the human tragedies we hear about! 

So to bring this post to a close without it being completely pointless...in the words of my daughter "avoid people with knives".